Tsuna's a What?
by ariathal2410
Summary: When Tsuna is young, he gets into an occult phase. Problem is, he never really grows out of it, because he's actually really good at it. Reborn can only adapt as best he can when he comes to train him. Semi-AU, Witch! Tsuna, crack-ish, oneshot


**WARNINGS:** swearing, a bit OOC, but I think they have every right to be (especially Reborn given that Tsuna likes to unceremoniously throw his logic out the window at every given opportunity),

**AN:** Dying Will Flames are not a thing in this AU. Leon is a normal lizard (for now).

* * *

Reborn didn't know much about his newest student. Iemitsu's file was flimsy at best, and downright _incompetent_ if Reborn was being generous. What it _did_ say was the future Decimo was a clumsy recluse. No friends, failing grades, and a penchant for getting arrested. Though what for, the file didn't say. It didn't say a lot…

Getting in was easy. He put the flier in the post, barely had to wait a full day, and then he received an enthusiastic call. He was to be hired as Tsuna's personal tutor. Nana lacked a little common sense in the areas that counted, but that wasn't really Reborn's concern right now. Tsuna was his job, not Nana.

He got a quick tour of the house after exchanging pleasantries and discussing rates (he felt a little bad for charging her, but he needed an airtight reason to be there), and was promptly sent to Tsuna's room for introductions. Honestly, the fact that she warned him that her son was a little odd, but not dangerous, really should have been his first warning sign that something was wrong. As it was, he made the mistake of brushing the statement off. He went right on up.

Reborn didn't usually make a habit of knocking on doors (in his profession, he didn't usually need to), but he made an exception for Tsuna. They'd be living in close quarters, and teenagers deigned a certain amount of privacy. He knocked. Received an affirmation. Reborn smirked, and opened the door.

He resisted the urge to squint. The room wasn't dim, per se, but it wasn't exactly bright either. The curtains were drawn closed, and there were lit candles strewn about on almost every flat surface, the only light in the room. The curtains fluttered with a faint breeze, indicating that the window was open. The teen himself sat hunched in a nest of blankets and pillows on his bed, a laptop resting against his raised knees. He stared at Reborn inquisitively. Not scared, not yet, but definitely wary.

There was a cat skeleton on the bed next to him. Ah. That could be… vaguely bad? The cat got up and stretched. Reborn's brain momentarily short-circuited. Tsuna merely scratched the not-dead cat's skull. It leaned into the touch eagerly. That didn't make sense. It was a skeleton, it shouldn't feel that. _No_. It was a skeleton, it _shouldn't be moving at all_.

"What?" He blurted, not his proudest moment.

"I get that a lot." Tsuna said. "His name's Natsu." He tacked on, like Reborn asked. Reborn blinked, forced himself to move on, and strode into the room, stopping just short of the teen's bed. Tsuna peered up at him, not moving from his slump.

"Chaos, Sawada Tsunayoshi. My name is Reborn, and I'm going to be your new Home Tutor." He said, all smooth charm. Tsuna hummed.

"Mum said she found a flyer in the mail. I told her it was scam, but the runes came up in her favour, so…" He shrugged. Reborn didn't really know what to say to that. Runes? Was this kid into the occult? He didn't let anything show on his face.

"You were only half wrong; I am here to be your tutor, but not for the reason advertised." Reborn said, letting his smirk slip back into place. "I'm going to train you to become a Mafia boss." Tsuna blinked at him. Slowly. He leaned over carefully, like he was afraid of spooking him, and picked up a bowl on his bedside table. He set it down next to him, never taking his eyes off Reborn. There were rune stones inside the bowl. Reborn tried not to be annoyed. It wasn't really working. This kid really was into the occult. That could be… interesting. Tsuna picked the stones up, and carefully tossed them in the air. Reborn _swore _the candles flared a bit. Once the stones clattered back into the bowl, Tsuna spared them a glance.

"Well," He said, brow furrowing as he scratched his head. "You're half right, but I'm honestly not sure what about, this is a really weird reading." He sounded as confused as Reborn felt. What the actual fuck. It took all of Reborn's willpower not to say the sentence out loud.

This… was not what he had expected. At all. He knew Iemitsu's file was bad, that there was going to be inconsistencies, but _this_. He stared at the cat skeleton that was currently kneading the blankets around it. This was _fucked_.

* * *

Tsuna didn't know what to think about the strange man calling himself his tutor. His runes weren't giving him a straight answer. Not one that made sense, anyway. On one hand, he seemed pretty confident about what he was doing. On the other hand, he was pretty damn terrifying. And Mafia boss? What was up with _that_? Tsuna didn't have any connection with the mafia. His runes told him that yes, in fact, he did. _Well then_… He rubbed his hands together. Time to do some research. He was definitely gonna hate this…

It took Tsuna a few hours and an evasive ghost, but he managed to get some good stuff. Reborn really was the World's Greatest Hitman (how one even got that title was beyond Tsuna), his father was connected to the Vongola famiglia, the strongest and most influential Mafia family in Italy (Holy Shit?), and Tsuna was apparently the last living heir (Tsuna wouldn't go into the logistics, but it was pretty messed up). Well… that was fun. He sighed. This was going to be a pain in his ass, for sure. He cracked his knuckles, put his Ouija board away carefully, and scratched Natsu's ear pan. He didn't know how to run a Mafia syndicate. He didn't even know how to pass _math_. Though he supposed that was where Reborn came into things. Tutoring him and all… Still… Tsuna was _not_ a people person. This might be a problem…

* * *

Tsuna had been surprisingly fine with Reborn moving Leon into his room. Reborn's was too small, and the living room was too open. Reborn had been marginally surprised that he had been willing to rearrange half his room to accommodate the chameleon's tank. He wasn't pleased about the reasoning.

"Every witch needs a good familiar." Tsuna said with an innocent smile. Reborn didn't believe it for a second.

"He's my pet." Reborn replied scathingly. Tsuna simply nodded sagely. Like Reborn was in denial, and not absolutely appalled at the very idea that he would be interested in the occult. He shook his head. He wouldn't let this child mess with him. Chaos was _his_ element, dammit. Natsu butted his leg and meowed. Reborn's eye twitched.

* * *

The next morning, Reborn watched the cat. He would follow Tsuna to school later and assess his social situation and grades from there. For now… The cat's bones shifted when it moved, as they should. They weren't connected either, and Reborn had no idea how the skeleton didn't just fall apart with no muscles or ligaments to hold them together. He assumed it was magic. Which was… yeah, he wasn't going there. Reborn sighed. He ducked down, the not-cat looking up at him curiously, and _how did it see_? Reborn grit his teeth in frustration. He carefully ran his finger along the creature's spine. It felt like bone. It _looked_ like bone too, even this close up. There were no wires, or strings. It didn't hum like a machine would. It moved far too fluidly to be a machine anyway… He tugged it's paw away from the leg bone. It came away easily, but the second Reborn let go it snapped back into place. _What_. _The. __**Fuck**_.

The cat purred. Reborn struggled. He really did.

"That's not…" He tried, the cat's sound not dimming. "It _doesn't have_…" He wanted to protest with everything he had, but logic did not seem to touch his newest student, in fact, it seemed to flee in the opposite direction whenever presented with him. Reborn sighed. He hated this… Tsuna stared at him in apparent sympathy. Reborn grit his teeth. Time to get back to business.

"I'll observe your schooling for a week or so. That will allow me to see where and why you're struggling, and help me formulate a schedule to tutor you." He _could_ just dive right in, but that might end up badly given the limits of his knowledge. _Damn_ Iemitsu, what was he even doing? And that _wasn't_ mentioning Tsuna's peculiar circumstances. Reborn would never admit it, but he was still trying to wrap his head around magic being real. Don't get him wrong, at this stage he was almost a hundred precent convinced it _was_ real, he just didn't _understand_ it. Or like it, for that matter. He shook his head.

"First off, I want to hear it in your words. How _you_ would assess yourself. Academics?" Reborn started as they began the trek to school.

Tsuna hadn't appreciated the rude wake up call. Nana hadn't appreciated the curtains being set on fire when the candles flared. Reborn didn't appreciate his student's apparent talent for magic. None of them were really happy right now. At least he was running on time for once…

"Dismal. I'm failing basically every class. I'm passing history, but just barely." Tsuna answered tiredly. He was dragging his feet since he had the time to do so.

"Physicals?"

"Not good. I suck at every sport I play, whatever team I'm on loses, and I can't seem to run for any distance without tripping over my own feet. Unless it's away from bullies... Also, I'm generally pretty weak."

"Social situation?"

"Nobody likes me." Tsuna said casually, hiding the painful pang. "They think I'm useless. And terrifying, I guess. They mostly leave me alone, though, ever since I turned Mochida blue for a week…" Not that he'd actually meant to do that, he had just wanted to make him speak gibberish. For like, an hour, tops. It only lasted a week because that's how long it took Tsuna to figure out what he'd done wrong, and how to reverse the spell. Mochida actually cried. In front of him. It was not Tsuna's proudest memory. They'd had a tentative truce ever since. Tsuna could only hope it lasted.

"Don't you have a spell for that?" Reborn drawled. Tsuna was fairly sure he was just being sarcastic, but still…

"_No_. Messing with people's emotions is just…" He couldn't contain a shudder. "…_awful_. Not to mention _dangerous_. Spells like that backfire easily." At least, as far as he'd read. Reborn simply hummed, considering. They stopped briefly at the gates, Reborn wouldn't follow inside, and he'd need a visitor's pass even if he wanted to. No, Reborn would observe from the outside, and glean everything he needed to know.

* * *

To put it frankly, Tsuna's schooling was _shit_. His failing grades were as much his teachers fault as his own, and the amount of students who treated him as less than human was frankly appalling. The kid was weird, sure, but like his mother said, he wasn't _dangerous_. Reborn seethed silently in his hideout. Everything about this town was subpar. The schools, the people, even the housing. Iemitsu wanting his family to live a civilian life was one thing, letting his son squander in this garbage-can of a school was something else entirely. Between the teachers, the students, and his mother's nonchalance, something had to give, and at this stage, it was probably going to be Tsuna. Things had to change. If Reborn had his way, and he _always_ had his way, this place was getting a makeover.

Nezu would be gone by the end of the week. Maybe one or two of the other's if they remained incompetent. Tsuna's image would take more work, and would probably largely remain unchanged. He _needed_ friends though, even if only a couple to get him through his school years. He needed _support_. At this stage, Tsuna's biggest emotional support pillar was a dead cat. That was honestly horrifying. In more ways than one. Reborn wouldn't even count Nana. That was the worst part, if he was being honest. Observing them over the week had been almost gruesome. Watching Tsuna's subtle asks for attention or affection be obliviously denied was heartbreaking. Even more so since the child seemed used to it. Iemitsu was definitely getting shot…

Academics notwithstanding, Tsuna needed physical training, as well as training to use weapons. Physical strength wasn't really a necessity in the Mafia, but it would certainly give the boy an edge. Then again… Reborn watched as a child threw a stone at Tsuna, only for it to curve mid-air, rebound off a lamppost, and sail straight back into the thrower's forehead with a nice _ka-thunk_. The kid seethed silently, holding his head in pain, and Tsuna remained none the wiser. He seemed to radiate some kind of bad luck. For others, that is. Every time someone tried to hurt Tsuna, it ended up turning back on them. Though it seemed to work better against ranged opponents. Reborn asked about it later, of course. Tsuna sheepishly explained that it was a luck spell gone wrong. (Reborn counted it as a luck spell gone very, very _right_). Still… Training of some sort was required.

He'd start light. Ish… Build up Tsuna's stamina and resilience, and then he could go from there. Academics was more going to be about memorisation and diligence, which was easy enough to get into the child. Tsuna had the entirety of Card Captor Sakura memorised, he could remember how to solve a polynomial, dammit! _Anyway_… Reborn sighed as Tsuna sung one of the theme songs under his breath while cleaning Leon's tank. He needed to start somewhere, and he needed to stop stalling because of the damn cat. Natsu was staring at him. At least… Reborn thought he was staring at him… It was hard to tell, with the cat _not having eyes_ and everything. Stupid magic…

First things first. Reborn wanted to test the limits of Tsuna's reversed bad luck.

* * *

Gokudera Hayato, otherwise known as the Smoking Bomb, wasn't Reborn's first choice for anything. He had a volatile temper, and he was a lone wolf to date. However, he was roughly the same age as Tsuna, and worked with ranged weapons. He was perfect for testing the upper limits of Tsuna's weird luck power. And if Reborn could get a subordinate for Tsuna out of it, all the better. Reborn called him.

He wasn't surprised that the kid came running. He took bait amazingly well. That might be bad. He made up for it by scoping things out before diving in. That was good. Everything was going according to plan. Gokudera infiltrated the school, he called Tsuna out. They met behind the school, and Gokudera was about to attack.

Then he saw Natsu. He stopped. Gokudera _vibrated_.

"_What_?" He whispered in absolute awe, entire body shaking in apparent excitement. Tsuna shuffled uncomfortably. He gestured vaguely towards the not-animal.

"This is my cat, Natsu." He said, as casually as possible. Gokudera stared.

"UMA..." He said.

"What?" Tsuna parroted.

"_UMA_!" Gokudera repeated, positively gleeful.

"Um… no? I – he's just a cat? I mean, a dead one, but still?" Tsuna said, brows drawn together in confusion. Finally, Reborn thought. Finally, it was Tsuna's turn to be confused. He relished the moment, even as Gokudera started fawning over Tsuna instead of attacking him. He shrugged. The bomber had been meant as a test for Tsuna's power, but this would do. The teen could use an underling anyway.

* * *

Tsuna was the opposite of everything Gokudera had expected. When Reborn had first called him, telling of the tenth heir of Vongola, he had expected a mini Iemitsu. Big, dumb, and tough. He'd expected a challenge. When he'd finally arrived in Namimori and dug around a little, he'd expected a more or less stereotypical creepy witch, with greasy hair and gaunt skin. He wasn't expecting a scrawny, fluffy haired boy with overly-kind eyes, and a cute smile. Or a UMA. He definitely wasn't expecting a UMA.

So, he may have gotten a little over-excited and pledged loyalty. No big deal. He'd figure the rest out later. Tsuna was a little wary of him right now (he secretly preened at the smart decision), but he seemed more or less accepting of his presence, if not a little confused. This was honestly the most welcome he'd felt in years…

* * *

Gokudera had been around for almost two months when Yamamoto approached Tsuna. In that space of time he'd managed to get passing grades for everything except math, and had even managed to stop tripping over his own feet most of the time. He found Reborn to be a fairly brutal tutor, but since half of his traps and attacks ended up rebounding, he'd resulted to more hands-on methods. Which was still pretty brutal. Apparently, Tsuna's overall improvement had peaked Yamamoto's interest. Tsuna had been forced into clean-up after gym, as usual, and Yamamoto had elected to stay behind and help. He used this time to ask a couple of questions.

"Eh? You've got a personal trainer?" Yamamoto said, surprised.

"Obviously!" Tsuna exclaimed. "I wouldn't be able to improve like this without one!"

"Hmm… I just thought you were working really hard…" Yamamoto said, rubbing the back of his head. He seemed distracted, and there was something about it Tsuna didn't like. It made him itch, and that was usually a bad thing. Stupid magical side-effects…

"I can ask Reborn if you want? Though I don't think baseball's really on our agenda… What are your rest days?" Tsuna asked. He scratched under his chin, trying to alleviate the annoying itch. For some reason, it just got worse.

"Rest days?" Yamamoto said, clearly confused. Tsuna stopped. Tsuna was stupid. This was a fact. A very _well-known _fact. But he wasn't _stupid_. He knew, even without Reborn telling him, that rest days were important. If you didn't work in some time to rest, you'd damage yourself. Now Yamamoto was giving him this confused look… like he didn't know… Tsuna felt sick.

"You live above Takesushi right?" He said, voice low. Yamamoto blinked.

"Mm." He nodded. Tsuna nodded too. He grabbed Yamamoto's wrist, and started walking.

"Let's go there." He said, even as the other teen made confused noises.

Tsuna didn't stop walking. Not even once they'd hit Takesushi. He gave a very confused Yamamoto senior a brief, polite greeting, and dragged Yamamoto upstairs, only pausing for directions to the teen's room. Once inside, he dragged him to the bed, gently manhandled him into sitting down, and crossed his arms over his chest. Tsuna put as much menace into his stature as his tiny frame could manage.

"We need to have a talk." Yamamoto just looked confused.

When Tsuyoshi saw the small brunet come downstairs a little while later and give him a cheery little wave, he was confused. Even more so when Takeshi didn't follow him down. He'd never seen this one before, so he wasn't really sure how well he and Takeshi knew each other. His son had looked a little lost as well… He waited another few minutes, and when Takeshi still hadn't come down, he excused himself quickly.

Tsuyoshi ducked his head into his son's room. Takeshi was tucked into his bed, staring at the roof in mild horror. Tsuyoshi tried to look supportive, but he's fairly sure he just came off confused.

"Takeshi…?" He said hesitantly. Takeshi looked at him.

"Tsuna said I had to rest today, or he'd turn me into a toad…" He said quietly, still mildly horrified. Tsuyoshi bit his lip. He tried to tell himself it wasn't fair to laugh at his son. Tsuna… Yeah, he'd heard of that one. Other than a few incidents, he didn't seem like a bad kid. And he _was _getting Takeshi to rest… He smiled placatingly.

"I'm sure he wouldn't do that. He's probably just worried about your health." He said soothingly. Takeshi's expression twisted into a frown.

"Are you?" He said. It took a second for Tsuyoshi to realise what he meant. Then he sighed. He moved into the room, coming to sit on the edge of Takeshi's bed. His son looked up at him with wide, worried eyes. He hadn't seen him look like this since he was a child…

"I think… that sometimes you don't realise how hard you're pushing yourself, and that you don't always think about your limits. You get that from me…" He said ruefully. Takeshi looked down for a moment, fidgeting slightly under the covers.

"Tsuna said that I'd already hit my limit, and that if I kept pushing myself too hard, I'd end up hurting myself." He said quietly. Tsuyoshi grimaced. Had his son really been pushing himself that hard? Had he really been _letting_ him?

"Then I'm glad he noticed. And I'm glad he cares enough to do something about it." He said softly. Takeshi nodded for a moment, seemingly taking this in.

"It's not your fault." He said after a moment, and Tsuyoshi almost winced. Damn his annoyingly perceptive family line. "I don't talk to you enough about it. Baseball, school, my… friends. _They_ should've noticed. They didn't…" The sheer amount of _hurt_ in those last words almost made Tsuyoshi want to pick up his sword again.

"It isn't easy being around people. It's hard to know who's going to be good for you. Or bad for you. Sometimes, you just have to look at what you've got, and start over." He said sagely. Takeshi nodded slowly, for once without his ever-present smile. Tsuyoshi had never really been good at this heart-to-heart stuff. He always felt like he messed it up. Said the wrong thing. Hopefully, this time, it would make a difference.

* * *

"Why have you been arrested so many times?" Reborn asked idly one morning. He'd been tutoring Tsuna for almost six months, and the teen had yet to do anything even remotely worth getting arrested for. "What have you been charged with?"

"Eh…?" Tsuna breathed, a little confused. "I didn't know you knew about that… Most of the charges are just disorderly conduct. I get arrested basically whenever I take Natsu out, which is like, _always_. I have to avoid the police and disciplinary committee all the time. Umm… there's also grave robbing – and that's only because there's no law against accidentally raising the dead, and they wanted to charge me with _something_. I didn't even _mean_ to, honestly, I was just trying to raise Natsu, not everything dead in a mile radius…"

"_Tsuna_." Reborn almost choked.

"Oh, right – Uh… they charged me with assault when I turned Mochida blue, again because there was really nothing _else_ they could charge me with… and I think there's one count of manslaughter in there, but they dropped that since he was already technically dead, I was just _re_-killing him…" He finished easily. Reborn was itching to shoot something. Possibly himself. _Probably_ Iemitsu. Why couldn't he just have another normal, idiot-child like Dino? He was so easy… No, _easy_ was the wrong word. _Simple._ Reborn never thought he'd be _against_ a challenge. This boy was going to be his undoing… He took a deep breath, slowly let it out.

"On a passing thought, if you happen to see any skeletal animals…"

"_Don't_."

* * *

Yamamoto and Gokudera had taken to meeting up outside of Tsuna's house in the morning and walking him to school. Tsuna was happy about this for multiple reasons. Mostly, it was because he had friends, but he could also see that Yamamoto was steadily getting happier. His smiles seemed so much more genuine now. It was strange for Tsuna to think that he'd never noticed before how plastic they were. Yamamoto laughed more freely now too, more easily. He still seemed pretty freaked out by Natsu though. He stared more often than not, and made little aborted sounds that Tsuna had trouble reading.

It was on one such morning that they met Tsuna's next victim. And Reborn meant that in the nicest possible way. They were walking along the pathway, Natsu by Tsuna's feet, when they were jumped.

"Disciplinary committee!" Tsuna screeched, snatching Natsu up off the ground. Reborn didn't understand why until –

"Confiscate the contraband animal!" One of the committee members called, and okay, _what_? It was a skeleton, not drugs. Whatever. They moved in, and the brats immediately dropped into defensive positions. Gokudera whipped out some dynamite.

"You want contraband?" He spat. "Try this on for size!" Explosions followed the statement, along with many screams. Including Tsuna's. A committee member swung what looked a pipe wrench at Tsuna, only to trip on his own feet and fall face-first into the ground, the wrench coming down painfully on his own head. He groaned, even as Tsuna darted away from him. Yamamoto pulled his bat out of its holder, and swung it at the nearest member, laughing cheerfully all the while. Tsuna squeaked as another committee member came towards him, but the commotion had brought some attention.

"You should _extremely_ pick on someone your own size!" A teen yelled, slamming his fist into the guy's jaw. The rest of the skirmish only lasted a few moments, the three teens plus Tsuna's luck easily brought down the meagre force. Tsuna could only sigh in relief. At least Hibari-san hadn't been there… He turned to thank the teen who helped them. He looked somewhat familiar, but Tsuna couldn't place him. White hair, and a bandage over his nose. Tsuna opened his mouth.

"That is _extremely_ cool!" The other teen shouted, pumping a fist in the air. Tsuna's jaw _dropped_. "Can you do a kangaroo?" Tsuna blinked. A… _what_? Oh. He was looking at Natsu.

"Uh… sure?" He said, instead of asking the million and one questions swirling in his mind. Why _not_ a kangaroo, really?

Three hours later, there was a skeletal kangaroo decked out with boxing gloves running around after Ryohei, and Tsuna was getting arrested. Again. Disturbing the peace was a criminal offence, apparently. Ryohei got arrested too, to his _extreme_ confusion. Tsuna tried to explain, really he did, but after he said he could do the skeletal kangaroo, Ryohei hadn't taken no for an answer. As it was…

Reborn stared down at him for a good long while, face blank. Tsuna fidgeted nervously. He was still in the police station's jail cell, sitting curled up on the floor. Ryohei was fast asleep on the little bench beside him, snoring loudly. Finally, Reborn sighed.

"Come on." He said, tilting his head in a follow me motion. Tsuna scrambled to his feet as the officer on guard sourly opened the door, and tried his best to wake the snoring teen beside him.

They trailed out into office area, a few officers milling about. A couple paused to give Tsuna dirty looks. Tsuna sweat-dropped. Guess he was still pretty unpopular because of the zombie incident… They came to a stop at Officer Suzuki's desk. He gave Tsuna a nasty look, but shoved some paperwork in his hands.

"Fill this out and you're free to go." He grunted, then tapped on the cage that was holding Natsu. "We'll be keeping this, though." The not-cat hissed.

"Sir, that is my emotional support skeleton, you can't just take him away." Tsuna deadpanned. Reborn twitched. The man before them turned a truly brilliant shade of red, face scrunching in anger.

"You can't just – that's not – _ah_! We're keeping the kangaroo!" He choked, the look on his face _daring_ Tsuna to argue. Tsuna did, of course. He gestured vaguely at Ryohei.

"Sir, that's _his_ emotional support skeleton." He said. Ryohei enthusiastically agreed.

Tsuna wasn't sure where Reborn got the paperwork from, nor did he particularly care, but they were both leaving the police station, with warnings of course, and both of them had their pets. Ryohei was a little sour at having to keep Kangaryuu locked away at home, but brightened at Reborn's suggestion of smuggling him to school using his intricate knowledge of Namimori's roads. Tsuna sighed deeply. How had this become his life? Looking at Ryohei enthusiastically talking at Kangaryuu, thinking about Yamamoto and Gokudera… He couldn't say he really minded. Tsuna smiled.

* * *

There were people outside his house. That… was weird. Tsuna scooped Natsu up, and walked up to the closest one.

"Excuse me?" He said politely. The guy flinched violently when he saw the dead cat in Tsuna's arms, but remained mostly strong.

"We can't let anyone other than the Sawada's through." He said, squirming slightly. Tsuna blinked. Weird.

"I'm Sawada Tsunayoshi." He said blandly. This was _his_ house dammit. Was this Reborn's fault? It had to be Reborn's fault…

"Eh?!" Several of the men cried, shocked. Tsuna gave them all bland looks.

"Can I go home now?" He asked, shifting Natsu in his arms. The guy cringed again, but nodded.

Tsuna dropped Natsu once he'd made it inside the door, switched his shoes for slippers, and made his way upstairs. Reborn was in his room, along with three other people. He blinked at them. Natsu had come up behind him, but none of the men seemed to have noticed yet.

Reborn smiled, eager for everyone's reactions. This should be interesting… Dino spoke first.

"Yo, Vongola. I've travelled from afar to meet you." He said smoothly. Tsuna perked up immediately. Reborn had a bad feeling…

"Do you know teleportation magic? I've been looking into it for a while, but haven't been able to figure anything out yet." Tsuna said. Confusion flittered across Dino's face, and he briefly glanced at Reborn. Reborn's face remained blank. Honestly, he should have known Tsuna would jump to stupid conclusions like that.

"He came on a plane, moron." He said snidely. "This is my previous idiot, Dino. He's the tenth boss of the Cavallone Famiglia."

"Nice to meet you?" Dino said. Tsuna pouted. Reborn almost rolled his eyes. _Almost_.

Dino pulled himself together quickly, and gave Tsuna a once over. His eyes stopped near his feet. Natsu looked up at him and meowed. Dino's resulting _screech_ was deeply cathartic. Reborn allowed himself a content sigh. For a single moment, everything was right with the world. Of course, Natsu had to butt his head up against his leg and remind him that skeletal animals were a thing, thus ruining his moment. Oh well, at least Dino frothing at the mouth was entertaining… Reborn's lips twitched into a small smile. Tsuna beamed at him.

"Can you do ghosts?" Dino said quietly, peeking out from behind the swivel chair. Tsuna still wasn't sure where he'd gotten it, but he was betting on the fact he'd brought it with him for dramatic flair. Tsuna eyed Reborn. Yeah… that sounded about right.

"I can, but it's not really something you should play around with. There are a lot of malevolent spirits out there." Among other things… Daemon in particular was a nasty piece of work. Luckily, Tsuna had enough resources to have figured out a concrete way of dealing with him. Now, every time he came, Tsuna could easily make him leave whilst licking his ghostly wounds. Tsuna smiled absently, scratching Natsu under the chin. He didn't see Dino paling at the sight. Reborn did. He smirked.

* * *

One afternoon, Tsuna was playing video games. Yamamoto and Gokudera were arguing behind him. Well, Gokudera was arguing, Yamamoto was laughing and teasing. Tsuna's character was running around destroying goblins, or drowning them in the water from his magic sword. Magic sword… _Magic sword_.

"Hey, Yamamoto?" He said, easily gaining his attention. "How would you like a magic sword?" Tsuna honestly doesn't think he'd ever seen the other teen so damn _excited_.

"_Yes_."

Reborn was not impressed. In the least. He didn't know how it happened, or _when_ it happened, but one of Tsuna's brats was currently running around with a sword. He wouldn't care if it was _just_ sword, though. Problem was, half of the swings were unleashing a torrent of water. _Water_. To Yamamoto's absolutely manic delight. It was also leaking like a faucet while idle. Reborn still isn't sure exactly how he manages to keep a hold of the damn thing. _How in the god damn __**fuck**_** – **no… Reborn wasn't going there. It was Tsuna, that was all the explanation needed, really.

* * *

Ryohei was in hospital, and Tsuna was not happy. Some jerk-off was attacking a bunch of people, and landing them in hospital beds. Mostly disciplinary committee, which really, was nothing new. Still…

"I am _extremely_ fine!" Ryohei protested, trying to gently shove the nurse out of the way so he could leave. With Kangaryuu there to back him up, he'd made it out with a few cracked ribs, a dislocated shoulder, and some nice bruises. Much better than any of the others. At least he hadn't lost any teeth… Tsuna pouted at him.

"Ryo-nii…" He said quietly. It was a trick he'd learned from Kyoko-chan. Ryohei froze, staring at him. Tsuna tilted his head a little. Ryohei caved.

"Alright! I'll stay extremely still for a while, but I'm not letting these guys hurt my extreme little brother!" He said, loud as always, and really, why the hell had Tsuna been dubbed his little brother? It had happened at some point after Kangaryuu, and some time before the pigeon incident that _would not be mentioned_. Tsuna wasn't sure, but it seemed to work to his advantage when he acted cute like Kyoko-chan said. He felt a little bad. Just a little…

Ryohei sprawled out on the bed, limbs hanging off the edge. He didn't look happy, and he kept on shooting Tsuna these little looks like he really wanted to leave, but wouldn't as long as he was there. Tsuna sighed. Reborn was _looking_ at him too, with an evil little glint in his eye that said Tsuna was well and truly _screwed_.

Two hours later, he was in the heart of Kokuyo Land. He hated it here. Had hated it ever since his father had taken him there as a child, lost him, and proceeded to go home without him. Worst. Day. _Ever_. Currently, the entire area was covered in some kind of thick, magical barrier. It was blocking out any light source, but as far as Tsuna could tell, that was it's only purpose. He sighed.

"Wow, I really can't see a thing." Yamamoto mused. They'd been walking for a while now, and hadn't come across anything. Tsuna was fairly sure they were lost.

"It _is_ pretty dark…" Gokudera said grudgingly, squinting into the inky black. Tsuna hummed contemplatively.

"I could summon some will-o-wisps, but we'd have to steer clear of children. They have a bad habit of, like, following them off cliffs, and into bogs, and stuff…" He said thoughtfully. Then again, adults did that too. Gokudera let out a long, wheezy breath. It took Tsuna a second to realise it wasn't laughter, but excitement. _Again_.

"UMA." Gokudera whispered in absolute glee. Tsuna grimaced. He wasn't a damn _UMA_, or whatever. Yamamoto chuckled a little breathlessly.

"I think that's a good idea. If we run into any kids, we can always tie 'em up or something." He said nonchalantly. Tsuna's eye twitched a little. Wasn't _he_ supposed to be the weird one? What was with this casual talk of tying children up? And since when was Yamamoto okay with his supernatural shit? Tsuna huffed.

"Give me a minute…" He grumbled.

A few incantations and a singed eyebrow later, three balls of flame were hovering around Tsuna ominously. The wisps lit everything in a dull orange glow. Yamamoto whistled appreciatively.

"Nice, Tsuna!" He said eagerly. Gokudera was vibrating again…

"_Say it and I leave you behind._" Tsuna hissed. Gokudera bobbed his head quickly, but refused to stop staring in absolute awe. Tsuna groaned. They kept moving.

It was easier to get around, after that, since they could actually see where they were going. They quickly picked their way through the worst of the mess, ending in what could only be described as an old theatre. Tsuna vaguely remembered this building. He headed towards the only available route, and felt the anxious certainty that he was walking into a trap.

Finally, they found their destination.

The room was even more dilapidated than the rest of the structure. Half torn curtains hung from the windows, paint peeled away from the crumbling walls. Tsuna shuddered. The whole place had a generally nasty aura. He didn't want to stick around too long… There were five people inside, three guys and a girl around their age, and a young boy. He looked out of it, and Tsuna hoped whatever magic he was under wasn't too strong. He looked to the teen hovering towards the back, trying to make himself look small. His magic was strong. Besides, the other three looked way too surprised to see his will-o-wisps to be the leader there.

"Don't bother hiding." Tsuna said, directly to the one at the back. What had Reborn said his name was? Mukuro? Mukuro straightened up immediately, giving him a sickly-sweet smile.

"Kufufufu. I never anticipated the new Vongola to be a witch." Mukuro said, and his tone suggested he was anything but pleased. Tsuna took a step forward, intent on giving this guy the lecture of his _lifetime_ on dark magic and it's negative effects, but Natsu beat him to it. He trotted forward happily, stopping just short of the only girl in the room, and meowed up at her.

She jolted slightly, and let out a surprised sound. She stood for a moment, staring. She dropped faster than Tsuna could see. Her fingers traced Natsu's skull lightly, gaining confidence when the not-cat pushed into them. She sat there, contentedly patting his cat, murmuring something that sounded suspiciously like "_kitty, kitty, kitty_" under her breath, while her companions stared at her. It was pretty cute actually…

"Chrome…" Mukuro called. Chrome ignored him. He looked a little confused, but did very well in hiding it. "Chrome." A little louder this time. She still ignored him… His eyes flicked to Tsuna, and narrowed. Ah, _hell_.

Everything happened at once, and Tsuna's still not overly sure what _did_ happen. Mukuro started seeping the most _disgusting_ aura Tsuna had ever seen. He might have panicked, just a little. He tried to concentrate on purifying the frankly terrifying magic that was surrounding the other teen. Something had blown up. He wasn't sure what. Mukuro sat on the ground, layered in smoke and dust and debris, staring at him and looking absolutely mystified. Chrome was still crouched on the ground, happily petting Natsu. She didn't seem intent on moving any time soon… Tsuna shook his head, eyes falling back on Mukuro.

"Stop being a dick…" He said helplessly. Mukuro nodded slowly, still staring at him like he couldn't quite figure him out. The darkness around them slowly started dissipating, beams of light reaching through the shredded curtains. Reborn practically materialised out of the shadows. Tsuna huffed. That was such a witch move… he had no right to harp on about Tsuna's shit. Reborn looked at the will-o-wisps, and gave Tsuna the flattest look he'd seen yet. Tsuna shifted uncomfortably.

"Will-o-wisps." He said, attempting a casual shrug. Reborn's eye twitched.

The young boy was introduced as Fuuta. He was a witch with an odd link to what he called the Ranking Star, and had the uncanny ability to give very precise rankings. Mukuro had kidnapped him in attempt to find Tsuna. Tsuna was not pleased. Mukuro only looked mildly sheepish. Chrome looked ashamed. Ken and Chikusa just looked confused. Tsuna ended up taking him home and getting his mother to adopt him. Fuuta seemed happy enough with this development, if the beaming smile he was directing at Tsuna had any bearing.

"Did you know that you're ranked the number one cutest Mafioso?"

"_Eh_?!"

* * *

Tsuna wanted to scream. Like, really, _really_ badly.

"_Why_?!" He repeated. The only word he seemed capable of uttering at the current point in time. Reborn looked annoyingly pleased with himself, and Tsuna couldn't fathom why. The cow-print child laughed again, pulling another grenade out of his hair.

"Again!" He screeched delightedly. Tsuna shrieked, reopening the portal he'd created when this whole thing started. He'd never actually created a portal to another dimension before… He was immensely grateful that not only had it worked, but wasn't currently heaping untold horrors on him. He had a bad feeling it was only because of the grenades… that and he was opening and closing it so quickly, nothing really had time to come through.

"Why did you bring a child with a magic afro here?" Tsuna finally managed to screech. Reborn looked _unbearably_ smug.

"So it _is_ magic." He said, a pleased hum. Tsuna almost shrieked in sheer frustration. His mother ended up adopting him too…

* * *

Mafia Land. Tsuna didn't like the sound of it. Didn't like the _look_ of it, either. He had to _bribe_ somebody to let his friends stay because Reborn made them sneak on the boat. Okay, so he didn't really _make_ them do anything, but it was definitely his fault… Tsuna had snuck Natsu here, too, but that was beside the point. Mafia Land, huh…? Tsuna shook his head. He had a weird feeling about this.

After all the hotel stuff was sorted, Reborn led Tsuna towards the back of the island. They ended up in a remote area, a large field decked out with all kinds of moving targets. Tsuna couldn't say it put his mind at ease.

"Reborn, you still haven't told me why we've come all the way out here." He said idly, squinting at the figure lounging against the chain-link fence that surrounded the area. All his friends were having fun, and he was stuck in some weird area with Reborn…

"Training of course." Reborn said simply, a smirk curling his lips. _Of course_, Tsuna thought morosely. He _would_ get stuck doing some weird spartan training with Reborn while all his friends had fun. Then again, they were all still more capable than he was, despite all his training. The other figure finally started towards them.

"Bold of you to come here, kora." He said once he was in hearing range.

"Chaos, Colonnello." Reborn said smoothly, the slightest hint of a smirk still tilting his lips.

"Reborn!" Colonnello said aggressively, immediately dropping into a high kick. Unfortunately, he aimed it at Tsuna. Tsuna shrieked, even as the ground at Colonnello's feet shifted. Colonnello immediately adjusted his weight, spinning back around and aiming low at Tsuna's stomach.

Tsuna gaped at him from the ground. Honestly, how did someone make a _mistake_ look _graceful_? Colonnello scowled though, tapping a foot on the ground. Probably annoyed that he'd made the mistake in the first place. Reborn smirked. Colonnello's eyes sparked, and he bared his teeth in a grin. He opened his mouth to say something – Natsu trotted out of a nearby bush and brushed against Tsuna's leg. Colonnello froze, eyes widening slightly as he took in the sight. His eyes slid over to Reborn. Reborn didn't even blink.

"There's a logical…?"

"Nope." Popped the p.

"But…" Reborn shrugged. "_That's not_ –" Another shrug. "What the fuck."

"This is such _bullshit_, kora." Colonnello slurred, smashing down another shot of whatever the hell he was drinking. Reborn was sitting nearby, eyeing him distastefully. Tsuna had a feeling this wasn't why he'd brought them here. Reborn took a shot out of Colonnello's hands and tipped it down his own throat, not even flinching. Colonnello flexed his fingers absently for a moment, before scowling at him. He opened his mouth, but Reborn beat him to it.

"As much fun as it is to destroy your reality and watch you get absolutely wasted, it's not why I'm here." He said blandly, a small smirk curling his lips when Colonnello flushed an indignant red.

"Kora! You can't just bring a fuckin' – _magical cat skeleton_ here and expect me to _not_ get drunk_!_" He said loudly, waving a hand at Natsu for emphasis. Natsu meowed. Colonnello stared at him like he'd just grown another head. He looked at Reborn, a little desperately. Reborn just shrugged again. Colonnello ordered another shot.

When Colonnello finally stood, he wobbled slightly.

"You're wasted." Tsuna said unhelpfully. Colonnello snorted.

"I could still beat the asses of anyone in this room, _kora_." He said, betrayed only by the slight slurring of his words. Tsuna hummed shortly, and tugged him towards the hotel. He wasn't sure where Colonnello was staying, but he could let him stay in their room until he was sober. He _was_ Reborn's childhood friend after all, so it wouldn't hurt to put him up for the night. Probably…

Colonnello was _just_ drunk enough that he somehow ended up curled up in Tsuna's lap. Tsuna wasn't sure how… He sighed, resigned to the fact that this was just his life now. Attracting random strangers and dangerous hitmen. Reborn was sitting nearby, cleaning one of his guns. He only looked mildly annoyed now, but he was still side-eyeing him.

Colonnello only woke up when the alarms sounded.

"Invasion?" He said sleepily, scrubbing at his face. He was still half in Tsuna's lap.

"Calcassa." Reborn said, re-entering from the bathroom. He had changed into a flower-print shirt and slacks, his usual fedora still perched on his head. Somehow, he managed to pull it off spectacularly.

"Skull." Colonnello grunted, easing himself into a seated position. Tsuna scooted backwards a bit.

"Most likely." Tsuna did not like the look in his eyes…

Somehow, Tsuna let himself be dragged to the beach, where a small fleet of ships was invading. The lead ship fired. The missiles careened off to the side, missing the island completely.

"What the hell?" Colonnello said, confusion colouring his tone. Reborn smirked at him.

"Tsuna's just lucky." He said. _Don't say it like that_… Tsuna thought desperately. Colonnello was giving them both weird looks now."Do something about this, Tsuna."

"Eh?"

"You're gonna leave it to the kid?" Colonnello said incredulously. Reborn merely tilted his fedora down.

"He can handle it~" Tsuna shivered at the tone. _He could handle it_. Fine, if that was the way it was. Tsuna looked out at the ships. They were still firing, but the missiles were all either careening off target, or blowing up mid-air. The water looked deceptively calm under the ships berth. Hmm… Water… Something pinged in his mind. Tsuna looked over to where Yamamoto was standing nearby, and scrunched his hand a few times in a 'come here' motion. Yamamoto trotted over happily. Tsuna pointed at the water, to his sword, and then to the fleet. Yamamoto followed his motions, blinked, and a grin split his lips.

"Hahaha, okay!" He said. His grin was just a little bit feral. At this stage, Tsuna felt sorry for the other guy, really.

Yamamoto walked right to the edge of the surf, tapped his foot a couple of times, shrugged, and then waded in until the water was up to his knees. He held his sword out like a bat, then swung. You could _see_ the way the blade cut into the water, a neat slice rippling through the calm. The cut sped forward, splitting the water cleanly until it surged upwards, turning into an enormous wave. All Tsuna could hear for a moment was terrified screeching as the wave surged forwards and _crashed_ into the ships. Tsuna could relate.

A few moments later, Tsuna heard more screaming. Another moment and a large red octopus came into view, wearing some kind of armour. There was a person riding on it's head. Ah, that was where the screaming was coming from.

"What the fuck! What the fuck! _What the fuck_!" Tsuna nodded his head in understanding. Colonnello punched him in the back of the head.

"Ow! What was that for?" He cried, cradling his head. Yamamoto's grin had turned sharp and dangerous, his blade tilted in the blond's direction. Gokudera's fingers twitched. Ryohei's eyes narrowed. Tsuna shuffled so he was standing between them all. Colonnello stuck a finger in Tsuna's face.

"_You_ are the _cause_ of all this bullshit. You do not get to nod like you understand our plight." He snapped. And, yeah, okay, that was kind of fair. Still… Tsuna pouted.

Skull, as he was introduced, was a friend of Reborn and Colonnello's. They didn't explicitly say that, but Tsuna figured it out. He _was _also a member of the Calcassa famiglia. Emphasis on was. Tsuna wasn't sure how many of them had survived that wave… Oops… Maybe he shouldn't have… He winced. Reborn tugged his hair, and smirked. Tsuna sighed. He wasn't Mafia dammit… Tsuna let his eyes slide back to Skull. He was pouting at the sand while Colonnello berated him. Oodako the octopus was obviously imbued with some kind of magic, and even if Skull hadn't realised it yet, Tsuna could tell it was definitely his.

"So…" He said idly. "Wanna be friends?" Skull looked at him like he'd just hung the sun. Reborn sighed.

* * *

Tsuna and his friends were having lunch at a little café when the next problem occurred. Something exploded, and Tsuna winced. That wasn't his fault right…? He turned quickly, as did the others, only to see a young man being flung off a rooftop. _Well_… that wasn't good. What occurred next involved a lot of shouting and a very confused Tsuna. Dino popped up out of nowhere and the man dubbed Squalo got away with his prize. But apparently not really, because the next thing he knew, Tsuna got handed a box of rings. He despaired, because this had Mafia written _all over it_.

Finally, in the privacy of his own home, Tsuna opened the box. And immediately balked. Reborn went on a tangent, talking about half rings and Vongola and _giving the rings to his friends_. Tsuna froze, ice squeezing in his chest. He slammed the box shut and sealed it with magic.

"Screw that, those are cursed!" He said. No matter how much he tried, Reborn couldn't get it open.

"What do you _mean_ they're cursed." He said, annoyance leaking into his tone. Tsuna glanced at him, before turning back around, arms crossed over his chest.

"I'm not entirely sure…" He admitted quietly. "There's some kind of negative magic surrounding the rings. They're _dangerous_ Reborn. I don't want them anywhere near my friends…"

Reborn sighed through his nose. _This_ was going to be a problem.

"Is there anything you can do about it?" He asked quietly, trying to be as gentle as possible. Tsuna looked just about ready to snap, and he doubted he could get the rings back if Tsuna decided to toss them through one of his portals. Tsuna eyed him again.

"No," he said shortly, and for a moment Reborn thought that was it. "I can't even begin to try releasing the magic on them if I don't know what it is."

"Can you find out?" Tsuna mulled that over. He frowned.

"Maybe…"

Reborn wasn't particularly sure how the Ouija board was going to help, but Tsuna had mentioned asking a friend, so Reborn should have guessed it would be magical. At least Dino looked curious… Tsuna set the board up, placed a single finger on the planchette.

"Hey," He called to the room. The planchette on the Ouija board slid across the surface as fast as lightning. It landed on NO. Tsuna looked downright _offended_. "Don't _no_ me, I need to ask you a question!" The planchette flicked to GOODBYE. Tsuna's jaw dropped.

"What the shit? _Fine_. Goodbye." He said, snatching the planchette off the board and putting it on the table. Reborn was only mildly surprised by the colourful curses spilling from his lips. He'd been spending too much time with Gokudera and Mukuro…

"I'll ask Byakuran." He said, after a moment of sulking. Reborn raised a single brow.

"Your mysterious online friend?" Tsuna rolled his eyes.

"He's my pen-pal, Reborn, there's nothing mysterious about him. I told you, a lot of kids at school have a pen-pal, there was a whole program about it."

"Doesn't explain how he would know anything about this." Another eyeroll. One more and Reborn might just have to try his luck…

"We didn't really have anything in common at the time, so he asked me what I was interested in, and then researched on it." Tsuna said, eyebrows drawing together slightly. "That was pretty big of him, considering he didn't need to put any effort in at all. Anyway, he's practically an occult expert now."

Reborn hummed. Sounded like an interesting fellow. Or an annoying one. Reborn might have to pay a little more attention to his student's online friend.

"You can contact him tomorrow. You have homework to do." Tsuna _groaned_.

* * *

In the quiet of the night, Reborn sat idly at the kitchen table. By that stage, most of the house was asleep. Reborn allowed himself a break. He rested his head on the table, cool wood against his cheek. He stared at the single candle he'd taken from Tsuna's room. Nothing was going according to plan… and now he had to deal with cursed rings. The flame flickered and wavered. Dancing in the night.

Reborn idly wondered if he could make the flame grow. The candle flared. Reborn blinked. The flame went out. Well… he wasn't going to think about that. _At all_.

* * *

When Xanxus finally came, Tsuna didn't know what to expect. It certainly wasn't a teen around his age, scars covering his face like a mosaic. He didn't know why the sight upset him so much. Nor why he could feel an unbearable _agony_ underneath the waves of anger coursing through the air. Even his friends could probably feel magic _that_ potent. He doubted they'd understand it the way he did though. Doubted they'd be able to hear the _screaming_. Tsuna had never wanted to cry so much in his life. Unfortunately, he didn't have time.

He didn't have time, because Xanxus set a fucking _liger_ on him (on another note, what kind of a name was _Bester_?). The thing roared, bloodthirsty and as angry as it's owner, and threw itself forward. Tsuna barely had time to squeak before Natsu had jumped in front of him, planting himself squarely between Tsuna and the threat. Bester came to a screeching halt. His tail stuck straight out and his fur puffed up. Frankly, he looked a little ridiculous. Natsu trotted a little closer, and meowed. Bester threw himself backwards, letting out an odd yowl, and bolted back to Xanxus' side, back arched like a slinky. Xanxus looked… actually it was a bit hard to tell what Xanxus was feeling at that moment. Confusion mixed with anger mixed with a general sense of _what_.

"Bester!" It was an angry shout at best, and a confused yell at worst. The liger simply yowled again, and thrashed it's tail in discontent. A lot of emotions passed Xanxus' face in that moment. The disquiet didn't last. Xanxus pulled out one of his guns and started firing. Tsuna screeched as the bullets curved, ricocheting off any surface available and becoming viable safety hazards for everyone involved. Xanxus was looking confused and angry again, except this time he was leaning more towards anger. He snarled, glaring at Tsuna like he'd personally wronged him. Which, he supposed, he _had_ by not dying and stuff. Still…

Tsuna spent most of the afternoon screeching and trying not to get shot. Or maimed. Or any other kind of horribly injured. Xanxus was very unhelpful. He kept on cursing, shooting, and ordering Bester to attack Tsuna. Fortunately for him, Bester didn't seem too keen on Natsu, and Natsu was apparently keen on keeping the liger away from him. Either that, or he was trying to play. Tsuna wouldn't put it past him…

After hours of running around – and several ricochet injuries – Xanxus and Tsuna were lying on the ground, wheezing. Xanxus looked, impossibly, a little bit thrilled.

"Give me the fucking rings, trash." Tsuna guessed it was supposed to be threatening, but the way he wheezed helplessly after just made him seem tired. Tsuna was tired too.

"The rings are cursed Xanxus. They could kill you if you wear them." He said seriously. Xanxus looked at him, tired and angry and spiteful.

"And?" He spat, finally forcing himself into sitting up. Tsuna didn't bother moving too much, just looked the man in the eyes. He might be his supposed enemy. He might have just tried to kill him. He _might_ just be angry, and hurt, and in pain. Tsuna looked at him.

"I don't want you to die." The wounded look on the other man's face made Tsuna's heart clench. So what if this guy had issues up to the nines? Honestly, so did Tsuna. He didn't have to be alone. And he'd be damned if he left someone to rot like he had if he could help them. Xanxus didn't know what hit him.

* * *

Tsuna practically skipped down the stairs, humming happily. Reborn immediately narrowed his eyes.

"What did you do?" He said. He _wasn't_ nervous dammit. Tsuna merely smiled at him. He twitched horribly.

"I'm meeting Byakuran." Reborn blinked. Tsuna's online friend? Since when?

"Why am I only hearing about this now?" He asked, slightly icy. Tsuna threw him an "innocent" smile.

"The runes didn't come up in your favour." He said. His eyes were practically sparkling with mischief. Reborn's fingers twitched.

Byakuran was a tall boy with white hair and the shiftiest smile Reborn had ever seen. He immediately hated him. He also knew Tsuna _wouldn't_, which meant he was going to have to be the reasonable one. _Again_. He _hated_ being the reasonable one.

Unfortunately, the two got on like a house on fire, chatting animatedly about curses and purification rituals. Everything was going fine until they got home. Natsu was at the door (Reborn had put his foot down, just this once, and stopped Tsuna from bringing him to the airport), waiting eagerly for Tsuna to come home.

Byakuran's eyes popped open and his mouth silently formed an 'o'.

"Wow?!" He said, seemingly in complete shock and awe. He stared down at Natsu like he was simultaneously the best and _weirdest_ thing he'd ever seen.

"I told you about Natsu…" Tsuna said, visibly confused. Byakuran grimaced a little. He clapped his hands together and bowed.

"Forgive me, Tsu-chan, I didn't believe you~!"

"Eh?! But you're an occult expert!"

"Well~ I was treating it more like a game than actually real…" He said sheepishly, scratching his cheek. Tsuna deflated. "But I still know all the theoretical stuff, so maybe it'll still help!"

And really, that was that.

* * *

When Enma came, Tsuna was _happy_. There was finally someone similar to him! Someone he could relate too, and could relate to him in turn. Well, apart from the witch stuff, anyway. Still, Enma was clumsy and awkward, and he reminded Tsuna so much of himself that he instantly wanted to be friends with him. Enma seemed baffled, for a while. He kept on watching Tsuna like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Tsuna could relate to that too…

It only made _more_ sense when Tsuna found out he was Mafia. A small famiglia, according to Reborn, one he hadn't even heard of. Which should have been Tsuna's first warning, really. Reborn knew far too much to have simply not heard of a famiglia allied to Vongola, even if they _were_ small.

It started, and ended, in the boy's locker room. Yamamoto and Kaoru had just finished club practice for that day, and Tsuna had invited them all out for dinner to celebrate their upcoming alliance. He'd trailed in eagerly – right as Kaoru pulled out a gun and aimed it Yamamoto.

"_No!_" He shouted, just as he fired. The bullet curved, slicing a thin line into Yamamoto's cheek and denting several lockers as it ricocheted around the room. Everyone ducked quickly. Tsuna almost cursed. He was really getting sick of ricochet… Yamamoto pulled his sword out, leaving the room to wonder exactly how he'd fit it in his locker. Tsuna didn't have time to ponder the thought, though.

"I'm sorry, Enma…" Kaoru said quietly, straightening slightly now that the bullet wasn't flying around. Enma quickly moved to his side.

"It can't be helped." He said, voice lower than Tsuna had ever heard it. It was darker too, and he was just starting to see the edges of his aura darkening. Malice was weaving its way into him, crushing the tentative hope Tsuna had seen building over the past weeks.

"Enma-kun…" He said, feeling helpless. "What's going on?" Enma looked at him, and it was like he was seeing a completely different person. This wasn't a meek and helpless boy, it was a bitter teen with something to prove.

"The downfall of Vongola." He said flatly. Tsuna shook his head. He had to be dreaming…

"What…?" Quiet, desperate. A prayer that he'd been wrong.

"Vongola. It destroyed my family, now I'm going to destroy it. This is practically predestined, Tsuna-kun. Our families have been enemies since the beginning." Enma replied, aura only going darker. Tsuna couldn't believe his ears. This had to be wrong… He'd _know_ if there was that kind of deep-seated hatred in the line.

Reborn frowned. He wasn't supposed to interfere, but something was wrong. There was something off about these kids, and the smallest one was starting to look weirdly like he was seeping smoke. He'd never seen something like this before, but with all of Tsuna's talk about aura's lately, he could take a stab at what was happening. All of the sudden, Tsuna started chanting. It was deep and melodic, like nothing he'd ever heard from the teen. Tsuna reached out, and gently touched Enma's chest, then his own. Two ghosts materialised, one behind each of them. Enma's jaw _dropped_.

"_What?_" He squeaked. Tsuna nodded in sympathy, then turned to the ghost behind him.

"Giotto." He said in greeting. Reborn's fingers _itched_.

"Tsuna…" Giotto said in apparent exasperation. "I thought I told you not to summon me unless it was an emergency." Tsuna pinned him with a look. Giotto winced slightly.

"It's important." He said gravely. Giotto nodded, then looked up. Surprise flitted across his face, then joy.

"Cozarto!" He said eagerly. The ghost behind Enma gave a fond smile.

"Giotto, my old friend, it's been too long." He said happily. Enma reeled back in shock.

"What?! No! He _betrayed_ you! He's the reason you're dead, the reason we've been getting slaughtered!" He screamed, tears slowly starting to run down his face. Cozarto looked genuinely surprised.

"What are you talking about? Giotto saved my life! He's the reason I was able to marry, have children, _live_. He made it so I could get away from the _mess_ that became of our vigilante group." He looked sorrowful at the end. Enma looked dumfounded.

"What are you talking about… Vongola… They killed you… They're killing _us_." Enma breathed. Cozarto shook his head, distress pinching his features. He explained, in detail, all the events that transpired between them, from the making of Vongola, to their departure of it. After he was finished, Enma fell to his knees. Tsuna was _pissed_. _Damn_ Daemon. He knew he hated that ghost for a reason. Vongola used to stand for _peace_, and Deamon had turned it into a bloodthirsty Mafia syndicate.

"Nufufufu. It seems my plans have been thwarted." A voice called.

"Julie…?" Enma said, confusion radiating from him. Julie smiled as he walked out of the shadows, sadistic and cruel. Tsuna knew that aura… He started chanting again, and Julie looked panicked. He started forward, but it was too late. Not even a second later, a ghost was expelled from Julie's body.

"**Daemon!**" Tsuna and Giotto yelled at the same time. The ghost looked vaguely nervous. "**I told you not to interfere!**"

Tsuna spent the next few hours trapping Daemon in barriers and alternating between screaming at _him_, and screaming at _Giotto_ for being so damn irresponsible. He had to remake the barriers a few times, because Daemon was a sneaky little shit, and he was good at magic, even in death. They both looked incredibly shaken. Cozarto, wisely, kept his ghostly mouth shut. After Tsuna was done yelling, he pulled out his trump card.

"I didn't want to have to do this you know…" He said tiredly, giving Daemon an almost pitying look. He idly wandered how a ghost could pale. Tsuna put his hand out and started chanting again. Daemon started thrashing frantically against his barriers, but Tsuna had him locked down well and truly this time. Moments later, another ghost appeared.

"Elena." Tsuna greeted with a nod of his head. She smiled, soft and kind.

"Tsunayoshi, it's good to see you again!" She sounded genuinely happy. The looked dropped the second she saw Daemon, who had gone unnaturally still.

"It's good to see you too. I wish it could be under better circumstances." The temperature dropped slowly as Tsuna, Giotto, and Cozarto explained what was going on in turns. All the while Elena had a beatific smile on her face. Tsuna looked about ready to bolt when they were done, letting Elena into his barriers eagerly.

"I don't think Daemon will be bothering you again anytime soon." Tsuna said, a little green in the face, trying desperately not to pay too much attention to the ghosts.

"I'm sorry!" Enma blurted out, a little desperate. "This is all my fault, I –"

"It's _not_." Tsuna said firmly. "This was done _to_ you, not by you." He held out a hand, giving him a beaming smile. Enma's cheeks tinged pink. Reborn simply watched, resigned.

* * *

When Nono finally met Tsuna, saw the chaos unfolding all around him, he stared at Reborn for explanation. Reborn shrugged.

"It's Tsuna." He said, unimpressed. Because it really, really was. Stupid damn brat. Reborn smirked, fond and exasperated all at once.

"Oi, Tsuna!" Tsuna looked at him. "Where's Natsu?" He looked around wildly for a moment, before perking up. He ran off to the side for a moment, and came back with an arm full of skeleton.

"Here!" He said happily, holding Natsu out in front of him. Natsu meowed. Nono looked absolutely _horrified_. Tsuna might just be the most chaotic thing that was ever created. Good thing chaos was Reborn's element. He _grinned_. This was going to be fun.

_**~ FIN ~**_

* * *

**AN**: When you start writing a short silly one-shot and it turns into an 11K fic… ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ Tsuna has both the best luck, and the _worst_. It's honestly kind of amazing. Hope you guys enjoyed!

**Omake:** _Adventures of Leon_

"What did you do to Leon?!" Reborn demanded, tone flat and dark. Tsuna waved his arms in front of him wildly.

"It was an accident!" He shrieked. He'd just been trying to enchant the chameleon with good luck! How the hell did it go so wrong?!

The lizard no longer looked very much like a chameleon. He honestly looked rather cartoonish… Tsuna trembled as Reborn visibly twitched. Leon jumped down from his perch on top of his tank, right into Reborn's hand. Then turned into a gun.

Everything stopped.

The Leon-gun was a bright, gaudy-looking green, but otherwise looked like a proper gun. Reborn held it out, aimed, and fired. The wall shattered behind him. Tsuna shrieked. Reborn hummed faintly. Leon moulded back into a lizard, perched contently on Reborn's hand. He easily lifted Leon onto the brim of his hat.

"This is fine." He said, nonchalant.

"No it's not!" Tsuna did a lot of shrieking that day…


End file.
